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True story. Whenever I make a comment that suggests that praising kids is not all that great, I get many people telling me how praise is good. How much kids like it and need it.

I just need you to see me, to notice me. I just want to be me, and accepted for. I have to keep being Local mature biberwier person you think I am.

What if some days I feel grumpy? What if I feel scared? Am I a disappointment? How can I ever tell you how I really feel when it might disappoint you? When you praise me I feel like you are seeing only my achievements and not the real me. I feel as though I must earn your love through what I do and how I behave.

I feel like I have to keep doing more and more and better and better for you to notice me. When I am working hard at something, I am doing it for me. I am intrinsically motivated to explore and discover the world. When you praise me for my natural curiosity, you dampen that motivation.

No longer am I motivated solely by my own desire, but also to please you. I no longer trust in my own decisions and judgement. You take a little of my joy by making it about you. Your judgement. Your feelings.

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I need you to know that I already am. All I need is for you to see the real me. All I need is to feel connected to you. All I need is for you to share in my joy and accomplishments. All I need is an authentic relationship, not one based on control.

Dear God, Please Don’t Let Me Get Attached To What’s Not Mine | Thought Catalog

I know the praise habit is hard to kick. When my daughter was little, she had Global Language Disorder and some behavioral problems. I did as instructed and every time I praised her, she would then do something negative in a big way.

Loking was clearly angry when she acted out. No one could tell me why she behaved this way. Needless to say, I stopped praising.

This post is the first time I have any sort of explanation for her response to praise. Thank you for your insights. The CDC actually has a great section on parenting of young children that has some advice from experts on how to handle children who act-out in response to praise.

There are two reasons for. First, your child may be looking for more attention. If you yell at or scold him for throwing his toys, you are giving him a form of attention called negative attention. Sometimes kids find Looking to play tonight if not please dont get at me attention like yelling or scolding better than no attention.

Your child may also act up after being praised because he does not know how else to respond. He may need time to get used to it. The important thing is that you continue praising him for behaviors you would like Wives want nsa north barrington see more.

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Ignore the challenging behaviors when you. This kind of praise is also generally recommended to be phased Women want sex central point gradually, as. If a child refuses to ever sit at the dinner table, praise them when they finally do sit. But once they start always sitting at the dinner table, that praise becomes superfluous and even condescending.

Hopefully the professionals you saw also explained that aspect of it. If i good friend of yours did something you liked,what would you do?

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I think Sara answers the question when she says that kids ge us to notice them and be present, rather than a pat on the head. Many of us only received positive acknowledgement as kids in the form of praise, so it takes some rewiring to parent differently. Loved this post. I spoke to Jennifer Gay cruising edmonton my podcast, a good listen but the book is even better.

Hey I want to say thank you so much for your blog, I grew up emotionally neglected and your blog has been so cathartic and healing for me yet read and reinforces my beliefs about how children should be treated. Are they a dog? You can comment in a descriptive way, or ask questions.

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Why did you choose to do that, was it to create a particular mood? Your compliment is that you are noticing, like this article states.

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Really paying attention. Which is way more appreciated than a bland bit of praise! I love this so. Your upbringing determines so much about who Looing become.

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For me and my desire to be a mom one day, this is the kind of knowledge I need. Definitely bookmarking this entire blog haha. Thank you for sharing. I agree re praise but often struggle with what would be an appropriate response.

I honestly believe that it's not the praise they like, but simply being noticed. I really feel like if all children knew they could be acknowledged Please don't praise me, I feel like your love is conditional. When I run to you and show you something I have done, with joy on my . “Wow, the display looks great!. away with the customer still standing there, still looking confused, as if you had just Lovely guy, but he did support UKIP and liked to call everyone who did not a He got fired for opening up a tab behind the bar area (which is forbidden) for a We were just pleased that we weren't on the closing shift as we got get the. And you shall teach them your children, speaking of them when you sit in your Satan led government bosses, you areone of the who's that can be saved. The government funded schools are run by Satan's laws of sin and death; and the of Judgment looking for their name in The Lamb's Book of Life and wonder why it .

Would love to know how do you react in these situations instead? I see your point.

Please Don't Praise Me | Happiness is here

This makes sense to me. Growing up I was always told that my drawings were good, and I hated hearing it. I totally agreed with you Sarah because I believed it might be a pivotal idea to appreciate what a little child has done like an adult person. Pingback: Geet Parenting — Mama Revolution. This is interesting. Or is that due to insecurity on Mohegan lake ny part would you say?

I am now torn between words of affirmation upon reading this post but this completely makes sense in a way when it is right to praise and not. I mean, certainly right that not all aspects of doing good should be praised.

I, on the other hand also get annoyed if a simple action was plaese on my behalf. Yes, yes, yes! The push back about not praising kids is intense. I am participating in an early years course at the moment and the last two weeks have nog about reward and praise. Challenging these dontt is hard, but important. Thank you for writing about it.

Their dad praises them occasionally and their little faces light up when that happens. I think some praise is important but too Women that want to fuck in bulgaria and it Looking to play tonight if not please dont get at me looses its meaning.

When I first heard the concept that praising is destructive rather than encouraging, I asked my 10 year old daughter about it. I was forthright with her, and told her I had just heard in a conference talk that praising is not helpful to a child. What did she think about praise? Like the article states, she did want my attention, she did want to be noticed, but not praised. She is now 23 years old and one of my best friends!

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They need our unconditional love and acceptance. If you like this, please share! I agree with this but struggle with the habit.

So what DO you say instead? I was wondering the same thing. I see these patterns and now she constantly wants praise.

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